the Amnesiac's Prayer on Forgetting
Posted by Gen Omapas , Monday, August 2, 2010 Monday, August 02, 2010
if i finally have forgotten myself,
remember me at these refuge hang outs
where i humbly named after mystic planets like venus or mars
for orphaned benches, and blank space between seats
the deserted parks and dim lit fire exits
like the Polaris, whom I confessed as my distant lover.
with light years in collision,
will blown like stardusts in thin air.
charred into pieces of supernova and blackhole
but now i can still knock at his door and bed with him.
i can go through each night, a mistress draped like a wife
that borne the wedding veil of a nobody's love.
without a household. and yet cling on to a husband i adore
because i could not go to sleep without being fondle
with words that i am his first wife.
that even in the decay of time .
he sees me as beautiful inside
so beautiful yet transparently
delicate and vulnerable.
...
if you could not rescue me in the hallows of my oblivion
i could still bear a life of my own
and at the same time bears redemption
because i am in one of the sanctity of these mysteries:
the midnight rains, the first cry of the newborn,
the ripple and rythms of the river,
the orchestration in silent and patient hearts
- religion in the music of chopin's nocturnes
and if i forgot to leave footprints
in the transiency of those territories
rest and not be weary i will soar
and resurrected from my own tragedy
that i can still fly and bounce back
after a bittersweet downfall.
and simply just forget about you.
about myself. about who i am.
like those nights that i simply wanted
to dig myself to the grave of pillows
as you perpetually killed me over and over again
i aimlessly dreamt of becoming a mooon.
that shines brightly even in dying
(for RL for the psychic crimes you committed)
i'll rest my pen for my poetry no longer bleeds on you
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